


Ordinary Level Sex Education Practical Exam

by Marcus_S



Series: Arya Stark's Multiverse [16]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Angst, Breast Fucking, Erotica, Exam resits, F/M, Foot Jobs, Lactose Intolerance, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Pelvic grip, Porn With Plot, Premature Ejaculation, Smut, fake orgasms, humour [hopefully], performance anxiety, practical exams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:08:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29885727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marcus_S/pseuds/Marcus_S
Summary: An AU where the characters are more like our bonobo cousins than we are; in which there’s no war but the younger characters are all at school together. Since it’s ‘O’ level they’re all sixteen.
Relationships: Arya Stark & Catelyn Tully Stark, Catelyn Tully Stark & Sansa Stark, Sandor Clegane/Arya Stark, Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark
Series: Arya Stark's Multiverse [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779334
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The characters belong to GRR Martin, the story remains © Marcus Stanson 2021

Catelyn looked at her daughter, “You’re nervous Arya, that’s not like you”.

“Performance anxiety”.

“Like I said that’s not like you and not to explain what sort of performance is not like you either. Come on spit is out, a problem shared is problem halved”.

“Not really in this case, it’s not like you can come with me and provide one hand out of two, preferably the one doing the important bits”.

“Ah, it’s practical exam day isn’t it”.

“Yes”.

“You know I’d have thought your sister would be the one to get more stressed about this”.

“She’s treating it like cookery, or chemistry for that matter, just follow the recipe, she doesn’t close her eyes, but she’s not engaged with what she’s doing, and she’s got the perfect partner. There’s an odd number of us in the class, so she has the teaching assistant”.

“Sandor Clegane, I didn’t think he was that popular, apart from his looks I’ve heard he can be rather aggressive and foul mouthed”.

“Yes, but the rumour is he’s got a massive cock and the word from the older girls is that he really knows how to use his tongue”.

“Ooh lucky girl. I married your father because he gives a really good tonguing”.

“Yes well, I’ve got Joffrey Baratheon, so all I’m expecting is friction burns”.

“Use plenty of lube”

“We’re not allowed, manual technique you’re meant to” and she started to recite “’A boy must clearly induce a flow of vulval lubricant before inserting his fingers’ his definition of ‘clearly’ is that I don’t look like I’ve been towelled and then blow dried like at the hairdressers”.

“Why did you pick him”.

“I didn’t the teachers lined us up on either side of the classroom tallest at the back shortest at the front, then the girls went across and took the boy opposite so I got him. Worse the word from the rugger buggers is that he’s got the smallest dick not just in our class but in the whole year as well”.

“Well it’s only ‘O’ level so his size doesn’t really matter does it, or have they changed the curriculum since my day”.

“Not in that way, ‘O’ level is all hands and things, no penetration until ‘A’ Level”.

“Well then let’s look at it dispassionately as I’m sure your sister is; all you have to do is demonstrate the ability to produce an orgasm in your partner. He’s a teenage boy, that isn’t going to be difficult”.

“It’s got more complicated, because masturbation is now part of the ‘eleven plus’ puberty exam they had to make the ‘O’ level more complicated, you have to demonstrate three different techniques, most of us go for hands, tongue and titties, Myrcella, typically, is showing off and doing feet instead”.

“Funny I’d have thought with her bust she’d have made use of it”.

“Oh she is, she’s dropping tongue, says she’s lactose intolerant and doesn’t like the taste of cheese”.

“I see, that does make it a bit hard on you”.

“You mean no titties, I’ve worked round that, my nipples stick out like hat pegs so I’m going for a very subtle nipple tip right on that skinny bit at the bottom of his bell, well if he’ll hold still and let me”.

“Well you seem to have things planned out; presumably it’s three techniques but only to one orgasm”.

“That’s my problem, we’re also supposed to demonstrate control, not fire him off before we’ve demonstrated all three, but he’s got such a hair trigger, the first time we did simple cocks out let the girls look he blew off. There’s a rumour he’s a bit of a boys boy so the sight of all the other cock in the class sent him over the edge, but he’s not slowed down. We all do the specials, tongues, titties, whatever first and then finish them off by hand so we get to point where it’s all flying and it’s the hardest to get wrong”.

“Well then just a quick one, two and get your hand round him then”.

“Well that’s what I’m planning but I’m still expecting to have to mop up early. He got it in my eye one lesson! Then we hit the hard part, I’ve got to be his subject and he doesn’t care, he rubs like he’s sand papering in woodwork, he doesn’t lick so much as bite and he doesn’t file his nails down so when he goes inside he scrapes flesh. One lesson I ended up with blood in my knickers, I thought I’d started early, but no it was just him chopping chunks out of me. The worse bit is if he fails first time we’ll have to do the resit, you know how it is no one can actually be allowed to fail”.

Catelyn took Arya’s head and shoulders in her arms and gave her a hug. “You do seem to be getting the short straw”.

“If that’s some sort of euphemism mum it’s not funny”.

“No darling it isn’t. Right look it’s really very simple, you have to ape Joffrey and orgasm massively and noisily and quickly”.

“I can’t I’ve tried, Meera Reid even tried giving me some tips about thinking about pervy things to get myself going a bit faster. That surprised me she’s so quiet, but some of her kinky ideas, wow!”.

“It’s always the quiet ones, they don’t talk so it’s all going on inside their heads, where they can’t be too embarrassed to think the unthinkable. You should try it sometime”.

“Whatever, anyway she’s had to do that with Sam Tarly, she bucks her hips and gives his fingers the pelvic grip, to get over the line for him. It’s pretty crap really; out of the whole class the only two men who seem to care are Jogen Reed and Sandor, so Sansa and Dany Targaryn are probably already getting a damp patch in their knickers and the rest of the girls feel like it’s period cramps day”.

“Does that…”

“Not anymore, you really are twenty years behind the times mum ‘Oh please miss I’m bleeding I can’t do practical’, all that gets you these days is ‘It’s a bit of extra lubricant nothing else, beside a good orgasm now will ease the cramps”.

“Well they’re right about the last bit”.

“Yes but I can solve that problem myself, in half a dozen inventive ways”.

“Well then it’s a ladies last resort, fake it”.

“What”.

“Pretend, look sometimes your dad gets far too drunk with Rob Baratheon and he can get it up but it’s never going any further and I just want him out of my way, so you do a bit of oohing and ahing getting faster, then buck your hips once, shudder your thighs and give a couple of good squeezes with your pelvic floor then flop and gasp for breath a bit. No one will think anything other than that you’ve had a really good orgasm. In fact since the examiners not going to have his fingers inside you can skip the pelvic floor bit”.

Arya looked at her mother, why hadn’t she thought of that, suddenly Sansa’s performances made a lot of sense, that or Sandor really was very, very good, but she could see a snag; “Well I’ll give it a go, but the trouble is anyone who knows us in class is going to spot it because of all the trouble we’ve had during revision sessions”.

“But you’ll be by yourselves with the examiner, who can’t be your class teacher, so the only one who might work it out is Joffrey”.

“No risk of that he’s so ignorant, in his little mind his failure to excite me is because I’m frigid, not he’s incompetent, he’ll probably make some comment like ‘So you’ve finally grown up, or learnt how to come at last”.

Catelyn looked at the clock, “Right off you go or you’ll be late. I think you have a plan”. Her daughters face still didn’t look wholly convinced but she seemed perkier than she had been.

“Yer we’ll see” and Arya walked out of the door with the resigned ‘the world’s against me’ body language that only a teenager can achieve.


	2. Chapter 2

Catelyn spent a nervous day bustling round the house, badgering her husband when he made the mistake of getting in her way. Then tea time and the girls came home, well Arya did, she ran in grinning from ear to ear, grabbed at the fruit bowl for a banana for a sugar rush and was about to head off upstairs when her mother blocked her way.

“So how did it go, are you all right, not sore”.

“Mum there are gods and they love me”.

“Well you’ve been told that before, maybe now you’ll believe a bit more. I presume everything went well, you managed to avoid having to mop yourself down and you faked it and got it over with quickly”.

“Oh it went so much better than that, I didn’t have to fake anything, today was definitely the best sexual experience I’ve ever had and I passed with an A* to boot”.

“So suddenly Joffrey performed, some men are like that ‘big match players’, your father calls them, just like in sport, when it really matters they come through, no pun intended”.

“Nope, it was so much better than that; you’re not going to believe it”.

“Well come on then, if it was that good you can tell your mum surely”.

“Yes, but I’m providing a bit of suspense, you know a bit of teasing”.

And Catelyn had to admit she was succeeding, if Arya had anything like a good story to tell she might have to find Ned and ‘apologise’ before dinner for her earlier grumpiness; “So”.

“You know I said he had a hair trigger, well he went off before we’d even started the exam and then again as soon as we got undressed. The examiner said it wasn’t fair on me, he was either going to blow as soon as I touched him or after two he wouldn’t be able to provide a third, so I got a new partner”.

Catelyn could see Arya bouncing on the sofa, clearly the new partner had been an improvement.

“They gave me Sandor Clegane, oh mum you have no idea”.

Catelyn thought she might have, Ned was pretty good in the bedroom, hung like a donkey, subtle and inventive, but she knew how it was with teenagers so she kept quiet.

“Firstly, he did me first, Joffrey never made that offer for obvious reasons, more laundry bills. He said I’d perform better if I was relaxed as he realised I might be a bit stressed by the change of partner. He’s so good, I’m never going to be able to look at him in class again without getting a damp patch, I’m going to need special knickers, extra thick gussets. He just tongued me until I was crying, then stopped and slipped his fingers in and gave me the come hither with two of them while I just lay there panting, then when my breath slowed down he finally put his thumb on my button and started ever so slowly. It didn’t take long, I’ve never made a noise before not by myself even when I’ve thought it was good, but I screamed as I went over the top, the earth moved, honestly mum I wasn’t lying on the bed I was on another planet”.

Catelyn actually felt a little jealous, it wasn’t that she had a poor sex life, far from it, but the enthusiasm of youth when everything was so new was a spice you just couldn’t replicate.

“So then it was my turn, he was obviously turned on by what he’d done to me, it came out of his pants as rigid as a telegraph pole and not much smaller. My only worry was could I get my hand round it. He was easy, I tongued him to the point where a beautiful little drop eased out of his slit, then wiped it off and did my nipple trick and he produced another little drop, so I took my hands away counted to five and then went for the finale. I got the skin right down hard and just made little jerks so my hands were just tickling his bell rim, he lasted about thirty seconds, grunted and fired a bucket full. I had my second hand cupping his balls and just jiggling them round a bit and then they went out of my hand, shot up into his body, like a disappearing trick. He even helped me mop up, which Joffrey never does and when we were out of the room he just looked at me and said ‘You’re good’. Then he had to go to find Sansa”.

“Talking of which, where is your sister”.

“Dunno, the tests were last double period so once you’ve done your test you get the rest of the day off, she’s probably just last one out”.

The door banged, hard.

“Sansa”.

They both heard feet pounding up the stairs and another door slam. Arya said “Uh Oh”.

Catelyn got up “You stay here; the last thing Sansa needs if she’s had a problem is a gloating little sister”. She was surprised that for once Arya didn’t protest or attempt to follow her, she just cuddled a cushion and rolled into a little ball on the sofa with a dreamy look on her face.

Upstairs she found the door to Sansa’s room was open, clearly it had slammed and bounced back, which was useful as she could just walk in without that long negotiation you sometimes had to engage in to get to talk to your own daughter. Sansa was rolled in a ball on the bad, also with her pillow, but it was forced into her guts in the way she might if she had bad cramps and her head was down with her eyes closed.

“Sansa honey, something went wrong, so let’s talk about it, you know sitting and stewing won’t help”.

No response.

“Well if you won’t talk to me I’m going to have to assume it was the exam. So I’m sure you passed because you were partnered with Mr Clegane who if Arya’s..” she got no further

“F***ing Arya, I hate my F***ing sister, why did she have to go and take Sandor off me the B***h”.

Catelyn tried to get beyond the profanities and focus on the cause of them, “Well first she didn’t do it deliberately apparently Joffrey had a little problem”.

“No he didn’t ‘machine gun’ Baratheon never has a problem shifting spunk from his ball sack to the outside world. So he’d fired off twice already, he’d have managed a third, she took him off me C**t”.

“Now Sansa, that’s enough, I want to be sympathetic, but you can’t just abuse your sister like that, we don’t use the N word about black people we don’t use the C word about other women and I’m not interested in how old I am and what young people do, we just don’t. Now take a deep breath hold it for a count of five and let it out over another count of five and let’s start again”.

To Catelyn’s surprise Sansa did as her mother had told her. Then it became obvious why, tears were streaming down her face. Catelyn joined her on the bed, lay down spoon fashion and cuddled her. There was a pause while Sansa sobbed, during which Arya appeared at the bedroom door. When she saw her sister she came over to the bed and knelt down so she could put her arm around Sansa’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, whatever it is I’m sorry but I didn’t do anything deliberately”.

Sansa raised a tear stained face and actually smiled “I know you didn’t, because Sandor told me so and I trust him not to lie”.

“So what went wrong, he was bloody marvellous with me he as good as handed me pass on a plate”.

“And he wanted to do the same for me, and he did in the end, but only after he’d had an argument with examiner”.

“Why did he have an argument with the examiner”.

“He accused me of faking my orgasm and then I was so wound up and Sandor was empty after Arya’d milked him dry so it took me ages to get him to fire off. The examiner wanted to make me come back tomorrow and do a repeat”.

“Would that have been so bad, Sandor would have had a night to recharge, so to speak”.

“You don’t get it mum, no one’s had to come back since some sad mad girl before your time”.

“Ah the Stone Age”

“Practically. Look I’ve only got through ‘O’ level because I got Sandor, he’s been an absolute brick, he knows it’s all too icky and I don’t want to know, but he’s nursed me along, gone along with all the tricks we can use to make it all as quick as possible, then today he turns up pre heated by her, however much she couldn’t help it, so instead of the careful fake we had planned he actually tried to make me enjoy it and it all went horribly wrong”.

Arya looked at her mother and rolled her eyes, Catelyn’s laser reply made it clear she was to say nothing, so she just slid her hands down to cups her sisters breasts, only to find them pushed away.

“See you don’t get it do you, I’m sick and twisted, I don’t like all the touching and gently fondling that normal people consider normal. I want my body to be my own, with no pressure to masturbate every night either, until I find a man to love and then, when we’re married we can have sensible quantities of full sex once or twice a week, not the endless little groping you and father do”.

Catelyn did her very best to put on an understanding voice. “Well you realise it’s going to take you a long time to find a man who fits your ideal, I mean even monks and nuns get to masturbate twice a day”.

“I think Sandor might, or he could have before today”.

“Having a bit of random sex with a TA is perfectly normal by your age Sansa, but to expect that to be the foundation of a marriage and children isn’t really very sensible”.

“Well I thought he was my best chance, that face puts people off, he said a few things that made me think he might, he calls me his little bird, I sing to him, it’s all romantic, not just say good morning fondly his balls, say goodbye he cups me and massages me for a second or two; but today when we’d finished, I suppose he was just trying to say something nice when I’d made a fool of myself, but the words ‘Your sister’s a bit of a goer, I could fancy her’ were not what I wanted to hear”.

Arya took a deep breath “Well then you can have him, if I’m a bit of a goer I’m sure I can find someone else and good as he is he’s not unique, so if you want him you tell him I’m not an alternative”.

“Would you”.

“Yes, seriously”.

This seemed to calm Sansa down and the three women went down for dinner. Later in the evening when the girls were both in their rooms Catelyn went to see Arya.

“Were you serious about leaving Sandor to Sansa”.

Arya looked a bit ashamed, “Well if he goes along with all her ideas and then proposes to her then I’ll have to won’t I, but my monies on him having his hand in my knickers before we get to ‘A’ level practical penetration in two years’ time and in that case all other promises are off”.

“I worry about Sansa, she has some very funny ideas”.

“It’s almost like she was born the wrong species, she’s like those little apes you find in southern Dorne, they’re monogamous and mate for life, they only have sex for a few days each year when the female’s in season, it doesn’t seem to be anything to do with pleasure at all, the poor things”.

“I don’t think she’s that bad, but you’re right she’s a bit of an odd girl”.


End file.
